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The girl behind the dreams... [entries|friends|calendar]
~*The smiles are what force us to pretend*~

[ website | Camila's Page! ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Stolen from reeast [22 Oct 2008|07:42pm]
If you are on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you.
I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other.
Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!
Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.
AND INCLUDE A PIC OF YOUR SEXY SELF AT THE END if you'll please indulge me

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) Favorite band to listen to when you're mad?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
hide behind a smile

I'M ENGAGED!!!! [12 Oct 2007|04:42pm]
3 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

[08 Jun 2007|09:54am]
it's really really sad what i've become. i guess its finally time for me to admit it to myself and start making some changes. either that or turn back to the antidepressants. god. i'm. so. fucking. miserable.
hide behind a smile

sucks [28 Apr 2007|12:16pm]
i am almost 24. i wanted to be engaged by 23. i know it takes finding the right person. i feel like i have but like we're not on the same page in some things, and then i question everything. i'm so confused. i am just hurting really bad inside. i don't know what to do. i'm so in love, and i feel like it's too much. is there such thing as being TOO in love with somebody? i try not to smother, not to get in the way of his life, not to be lonely when he's not around. i feel like i have no friends, no life outside of him. i need something to do. ugh.
3 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

[20 Aug 2006|04:34pm]

What love do you hold?

You are devoted to love. You will never stray from your partner, no matter what temptation you are offered. Once you make a committment, that's it, you're in it for the long haul. You're probably more willing to forgive you're partner if they're the ones that do the straying, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. You still have feelings, you're just willing to overlook flaws, and do anything for that one person in your life.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

hide behind a smile

[16 Aug 2006|11:14pm]
hide behind a smile

[20 May 2006|12:52pm]
hide behind a smile

how i feel all the time now [12 Feb 2006|12:49pm]
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.


Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

-Keith Urban, "Tonight I Wanna Cry"
hide behind a smile

[20 Dec 2005|05:56pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

why is everyone getting engaged/married? i am NEVER going to get married. i am never going to be engaged. i'm never going to get to enjoy the moment of having a ring on my finger. never :(
am i ever going to get out of this slump of wanting to die???

hide behind a smile

[01 Nov 2005|12:17pm]
hide behind a smile

shreveport night out [06 Jul 2005|12:16am]
[ mood | happy ]

Pictures from my first time out in Shreveport!Collapse )

hide behind a smile

hey!!! i'm still alive! [19 Jun 2005|01:27pm]
[ mood | studious ]

Hey all...
yes it's me and I'm actually updating. Imagine that! Haha...bet you thought I wasn't using this thing anymore or something. No I'm still here and still keeping up with everyone else's life but my own :).
The last time I updated I was graduating. Well...I did it. I graduated from college. It felt pretty great, but weird too. Now, here I am in Shreveport, LA, living it up in physical therapy school. Y'all, I never knew that school could be so hard yet SO FUN at the same time. yeah, I'm cheesy, but I don't care. i love it. I am learning so much and yeah even though everyday when I get back from school my head feels like it's going to explode, it has really been such a good thing.
My apartment is pretty cool....i'm including some pics but it looks a bit different and better now b/c i have put stuff on the walls...it feels more like home and stuff.

here are some pics from my apartment:Collapse )

Let's see..what else does my life consist of? well, nothing really. My routine is pretty much the same...wake up at 5:30-6:30 every morning, take a shower, take Shadow out (he's like my kid, seriously), eat breakfast, maybe study, and leave my apartment by 7:15. It takes me about 7 minutes to get to campus (the hospital) and i park and take the shuttle bus from the lot to the hospital, and get in class about 15 minutes before it starts at 8. First I have human physiology every morning. That lasts from 8-8:50, and then every day of the week except one, we have human anatomy lecture from 9-10, and then from 10-12 we go into the gross anatomy lab and dissect our cadaver. yup...dead bodies. it's so awesome though. i am learning so much and it's so interesting. one day of the week in anatomy we have a "study day" where we just go in the lab and study our asses off, learning every muscle, artery, vein, nerve, cavity, etc. that we might possibly have to know for the test. they throw so much information at us in one day that we really need more than one study day, but hey, what can you do. some days that'll be it for us and i go eat lunch either at school with everyone or i come home and usually take a nap while trying to study. other days we have class starting at 1 and lasting anywhere from 2:30-4. I either have medical ethics or functional anatomy. we also have to take a medical terminology class, but all we do is learn words on our own and take the tests. so yeah...pretty much my life is the same everyday, and when i come home from class, i just study or fall asleep and always always play with shadow. some days i'll get lucky and get a chance to watch t.v. during the weekends i just kinda relax, study, usually end up leaving my apartment at some point in time so that i don't feel like a hermit.yesterday i went to bed bath and beyond and got some last little things to make my apartment complete, and then i went to walmart to get some more groceries. i went to chili's last night and had a drink with my good friend kristen. the night before we went out to taco mania and had a margarita with some other PT students, and then went to a bar and played pool. i still haven't really "gone out" with all of them yet, but I think not this weekend but the next we will all definitely be doing that b/c after an anatomy test, it's always time to celebrate.

as far as people, i've definitely met a lot of awesome ones. i went to elementary school at lasalle in baton rouge with this girl kristen, and i saw her name on the list of people that were going to be in my class. the second day of school, i went up and asked her if i could work in her anatomy dissection group, and ever since then we have been so close. we study for every test together and hang out all the time. i know that she is definitely going to be one of my best friends. it's just awesome because we connect so well together....like there's never that awkward silence thing with us. and we can just talk and open up to each other about anything, even stupid stuff, and it's just really cool. i totally had the wrong idea about her b/c i know some of the people she used to be friends with a while ago and was worried she was going to be this totally fake person, but i was so wrong and i am so glad. so hopefully that continues to go well. she even asked me to move in with her b/c her parents bought a condo in bossier city and it's a 2 bedroom and right now she's living in it all by herself. but we'll see. i'm worried i won't like not being able to be on my own so i'll have to see how that goes. i have a while to think about it though since i signed a lease here and stuff. i've met some other really cool people too. we hang out with this guy josh in our class and he's a blast, and so is pretty much everybody else. there's still a handful of people i haven't gotten to know too well, but for the most part we all get along really well. we also interact a lot with the occupational therapy, cardiopulmonary science, and physician's assistant students so that's cool. in our PT class, there's 23 girls and only 7 guys. pretty weird but it's okay. i've also met a bunch of really cool med student guys that help us out in the lab as TA's. so that's super fun.

i don't know...i'm having a blast up here and feeling a lot better about everything than i thoght i would. i really thought i would always be crying and always be lonely and sad, but it hasn't been that way. i mean yeah sometimes i do get REALLY down about missing home and missing certain people, and it's been really hard in some situations feeling like i'm totally out of the loop and out of that life i had, and out of so many people's worlds now. sometimes i feel like i don't even matter to those old friends i used to have, and that's really hard to face. some things that i've heard have happened have just really blown my mind and sometimes i feel like it's just a big slap in the face, about a lot of things that i've done and that have happened to me in life. i dunno. sometimes i hear about things and just get so upset but i have to realize that i guess i'm not part of that world anymore. who knows. but i guess life changes and throws you some curve balls and you just have to keep swinging. for the most part, i'm okay. i'm trying my best to just relax and learn as much as i can, both in school and in life. i'm trying to keep my relationships from BR, but also make a bunch of great new ones here, hopefully the kind that i know will stick. lots of people have been so wonderful and have kept me sane and i'm so thankful for that. hopefully things will keep looking up. i do miss everyone that i don't talk to anymore, and i'm sorry if i'm bad about writing or calling or any thing like that. i really am ALWAYS studying or doing SOMETHING and it's so hard sometimes to just find time to relax and get a second to just chit chat. so i'm sorry if u feel like i'm neglecting. but just remember that if you DO call me, i do find time to pull away from the books and catch up b/c even though i might get so wrapped up in it and i feel like i can't take a second, i always do if someone calls. so anyone, feel free to call me. i love everyone and miss you all a bunch. i will try to continue to update every once in a while. hope everyone is doing great. i'm going swimming and to study now. ♥

1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

[20 May 2005|12:06am]

I graduate from college tomorrow...no, wait, technically today????
you're joking right??
i'm soooo not fucking ready for this!

i mean i am in so many ways, but i'm not in so many others..
2 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

[19 May 2005|11:36pm]
why does it bother me??
b/c they're settling! b/c they're not good together despite what everyone thinks!
and b/c this is just a big huge rub in my face that i am NEVER, EVER, EVER going to get married no matter how much i thought i one day would.

nothing is going right and i'm just ready to escape.
escape this stupid town and this stupid little place.

my stepmom has stage 2 cancer.

i didn't get the huge trust i applied for.

i suck at managing my time between friends who refuse to hang out with each other, therefore leaving me to choose between people and always letting someone down.

i'm going to be completely alone for the next 2.5 years of my life.

i suck at life in general.

does anyone else want to throw another curveball at my life?

i'm ready to go.... and sometimes, i mean that in more ways than one....
3 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

Help out, please. [14 Apr 2005|01:57pm]
[ mood | PLEASE!!! ]

Please help out guys...it's for a friend! SO IMPORTANT!!

hide behind a smile

[11 Apr 2005|11:25pm]
Birthday:June 9, 1983
Birthplace:Concepcion, Chile
Current Location:Baton Rouge, LA
Eye Color:Blue
Hair Color:Brown
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right
Your Heritage:Chilean
The Shoes You Wore Today:Some stupid black casual type shoes that gave me blisters
Your Weakness:Puppies and forgetting what I feel is right to make others happy
Your Fears:Never figuring out what I want out of life, or what God wants for me. Never telling the people I love how I feel.
Your Perfect Pizza:Sausage, black olives, mushrooms, cheese, tomatoes
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Be successful in PT school and be able to afford everything
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:lol or hehe
Thoughts First Waking Up:OMG is it really that late? SHIT I'm late!
Your Best Physical Feature:Eyes
Your Bedtime:midnight-2 am
Your Most Missed Memory:Broadmoor High School and friends back then, being close to everyone that I once was close to but am no longer, church at BUMC and retreats and youth group
Pepsi or Coke:Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:McD's
Single or Group Dates:Hmm i dunno
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Neither tea is gross and bad for you b/c of kidney stones
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:EW
Do you Smoke:No way
Do you Swear:yeah sometimes when i get F$#@!^ pissed
Do you Sing:Yup, especially when alone in the car, so loud, and so into it
Do you Shower Daily:Yes if not twice
Have you Been in Love:Yes
Do you want to go to College:There now and continuing after I graduate...AHH!
Do you want to get Married:Absolutely
Do you belive in yourself:No, not enough at least....
Do you get Motion Sickness:Yeah sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive:No
Are you a Health Freak:Yes, and sometimes I wish I was more.
Do you get along with your Parents:Yes, usually, minus about some stuff
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yes, they're beautiful/awesome but also kinda scary
Do you play an Instrument:I can play a few chords on the guitar but that's about it
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Hmm honestly I have no idea. Maybe like one or two drinks. oh wait, girls night out was last month...haha, yeah, i definitely did. :)
In the past month have you Smoked:No way
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Hell no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Yeah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Yeah Saturday actually
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:No
In the past month have you been on Stage:No
In the past month have you been Dumped:No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:No
Ever been Drunk:yes
Ever been called a Tease:jokingly yeah and probably seriously by some stupid jerks but never seriously to my face
Ever been Beaten up:no, not physically at least
Ever Shoplifted:hmm....haha
How do you want to Die:old but ready, not hanging on and being unhealthy for years and years
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Physical Therapist and the best mom in the world
What country would you most like to Visit:Rome
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Green i guess
Favourite Hair Color:Blonde/dirty blonde
Short or Long Hair:Short
Weight:I dunno, not huge but not less than me :)
Best Clothing Style:Whatever he wants but not all cruddy and sloppy all the time
Number of Drugs I have taken:None
Number of CDs I own:A lot
Number of Piercings:5
Number of Tattoos:0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:1230983290853 j/j...um there's definitely a few. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people that can say I have no regrets. But I guess everything happens for a reason...?

4 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

random [05 Apr 2005|01:35am]
Your dating personality profile:

Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance.
Your date match profile:

Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Religious
2. Athletic
3. Stylish
4. Liberal
5. Wealthy/Ambitious
6. Funny
7. Outgoing
8. Traditional
9. Practical
10. Adventurous
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Religious
2. Conservative
3. Practical
4. Athletic
5. Stylish
6. Traditional
7. Outgoing
8. Funny
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Intellectual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
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because i busted my butt these 4 years, I will brag.... [18 Mar 2005|05:34pm]
[ mood | proud ]

March 15, 2005

Camila Fuentes

Dear Ms. Fuentes:

Congratulations! You have been selected as the 2005 Oustanding Senior in the College of Education. The task of the college's Awards Committee was a difficult one. However, because of the exemplary nature of your accomplishments and activities during your academic career, the committee quickly discerned that you are the most outstanding students in your class. The College of Education is quite proud to recognize a student of your caliber.

You should soon receieve information from the Chancellor's Office regarding the university-wide honors convocation to be held in the Quadrangle on Friday, April 29, 2005. At that time you will join other undergraduates as special guests at the Chancellor's Honors Convocation.

If we can be of help to you in any way, please do not hesitate to let us know. Again, congratulations! We wish you continued success in your ever endeavor.


M. Jayne Fleener, Ph.D.
E.B. "Ted" Robert Professor of Education and Dean

March 15, 2005

Sylvia Nicolai

Dear Ms. Nicolai:

With great pleasure I would like to inform you that Camila has been selected as one of Louisiana State University's Outstanding Students for 2004-05, a distinction awarded to approximately 35 undergraduate students at LSU. Camila will be recognized as the Outstanding Senior in the College of Education at the Chancellor's Honors Convocation on Friday, April 29, 2005. You should soon receive an official invitation with additional information from the Office of the Chancellor.

We share your pride in Camila's accomplishments. She is to be commended for her exceptional scholarship, leadership, and service. Students such as Camila are unquestionably assets to the College of Education and to the University as a whole.

We hope that you will be able to join us for this special occasion. Would you please let Dr. Patti Exner, Associate Dean, know of your plans so that we can be sure to recognize you as well. Dr. Exner can be reached at 225-578-1437 or pexner@lsu.edu.

If you have any questions or we can be of help in any way to you or to Camila, please do not hesitate to let us know. We look forward to your joining us as we honor Camila for having earned this award!


M. Jayne Fleener, Ph.D.
E.B. "Ted" Robert Professor of Education and Dean

6 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

[16 Feb 2005|01:43pm]



LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.
hide behind a smile

[02 Feb 2005|02:28pm]
ahhh!! St. Augustine too!!!!
They just called me up and said I didn't even much need an interview :)!!!!!!!
Florida, here I come...see ya Monday!
hide behind a smile

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [31 Jan 2005|05:14pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Shreveport & New Orleans...
now i have a week to decide, kinda...

4 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

surprisingly very accurate [26 Jan 2005|08:56am]
Description of Your First Name of: Camila
The following brief summary describes only a few qualities of your first name. There are many additional factors (legal name, nicknames, family surname, combined names, previous names, business signature, and, very importantly, your inner potential or birthpath as determined from your date of birth) that create and mold your entire personality - and your entire life.

Although the name Camila creates the urge to understand others, we point out that it causes you to be emotional and temperamental. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, liver and the bloodstream.

Your first name of Camila has given you a quick-minded, sensitive nature. It gives you a clever, creative ability in art, music, singing, or drama and an appreciation for refined surroundings. Your sociable nature expresses affection, kindness, and thoughtfulness to the extent that it is difficult for you not to be affected by others and governed by your emotions, rather than by logic and reason. As you respond to love and encouragement from others, your romantic and dreamy nature can easily lead you into love affairs.

Try yours here
1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

don't get it that much but okay [03 Dec 2004|04:10pm]
[ mood | still sucked in ]

holding hands are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

fun survey [03 Dec 2004|04:06pm]
[ mood | sucked into the computer ]

1. copy and post in your LJ
2. bold anything that is true
3. leave plain anything that is untrue
4. add a new one at the end.

01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I don't watch much tv these days.
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana. and I hated the effect.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (not that i've exemplified this)
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone else's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I love rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.
26. I need money right now.
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.  (sometimes…)
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas. (kinda)
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs
35. I have a twin.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look. 
39. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
45. I have good English.
46. I have a hidden talent.  (do I?)
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (at home I do)
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my LJ.  (not as much anymore…)
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
63. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have some ideas.....
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've had the cops called on me before. (rolling the house, ooooh goodness)
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything deadly. (that I know of)
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex especially when they are really good looking.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. (usually....)
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved. (try about 100)
83. I have tried alcohol before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy country music.
89. I love my best friends.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.  YES!!  Fo sho!
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I've had a crush on somebody I've never met.
102. I kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.  (kinda)
104. I strongly dislike math. 
105. I'm procrastinating something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in 'lust' more than in 'love.' (i dunno but this seems like it would apply in many instances and i'm an idiot
108. I have a "thing" for boybands.
110. I'm obsessed with The Sims.
111. I have an obsession with Orlando Bloom.
112. I need to lose weight.
113. I make faces in the mirror.
114. I love Darren Hayes.
115. I need to do laundry.
116. I have a pet rat.
117. I've dyed my hair an unnatural color before.(it was a tad tooooo black)
118. I've gone surfing before.
119. I'm sleepy right now.
120. I have been involved in a car accident in the past 6 months.
121. I hold grudges. (subconsciously and they have recently been discovered so look out biotch!)
122. I own a movie or DVD that I have never watched.
123. I like musicals. A lot.
124. Christmas is my favorite time of the year!
125. I'm a rockstar!!!
126. Im totally obsessed with music  YES!
127. I'm afraid of being alone.
128. I'm a hopeless romantic.
129. I have to pee right now.
130. I’m scared of heights.
131. I have a strange liking of 80's love ballads.
132.  I am lonely
133. I'm scared to death of my future and the start of my life (which starts in like less than 6 months :/)

hide behind a smile

[29 Nov 2004|12:47pm]
[ mood | dissapointed ]

no wonder...

hide behind a smile

again? time to up the meds... [29 Nov 2004|12:44pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i think i'm depressed. i feel like it at least. it comes at weird times. i'm fine when i'm not thinking about life. but when i am, it hits me like a brick. i just keep thinking about so much. today the convo at lunch with michelle and jordan and emily was really hard on me. you know when you just awnt ot cry so bad, but you feel like a big baby chicken shit so you hold it all back? that was me today. i want to just go home and cry. i sleep all the time. i'm always tired. i'm not ever really that hungry, i just eat cuz i know i should, and when i do i eat the bad stuff. and i want to cry a lot. i'm ready to move. i'm ready to get the fuck away from baton rouge. i'm ready to run away from everything. i awnt to find somewhere to live in st. augustine that i can take shadow with me so he can keep me happy. i can't stand the fact that my last semester in baton rouge, i won't be able to spend as much time with my friends because of the situation that i'm in as far as my relationship with these people. i hate it. i just want to crawl in a hole and die sometimes. help.

3 hidden dreams| hide behind a smile

no i'm not dead yet [01 Nov 2004|03:05pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

i'm such a waste of space
and a slacker on lj.
i apologize to all of my friends for never commenting.
my life is a big huge blob of nothing.
all i ever have time for is school, work,  studying, and worrying about getting into pt school. maybe if i'm lucky my gre scores wll come in in time for me to actually be able to apply. oh well.
i don't ever really read or write in lj ever.
so i'm sorry to all my friends.
if you want to take me off your life, i understand.
i love all you guys and hope you are doing fine.
one day i will get around to taking time for myself and having fun and sitting down and reading about the lives of all those i care so much about.
but lately i just don't have time for myself. just time for this education system, making sure that i'm bogged down with enough stress to barely make it everyday.
and with mom being in chile, things are extra hard b/c i'm playing mom.
just wanted y'all to know that yes i'm still alive, barely :/....
love y'all...

oooh and check out my fun webpage i had to make for bus. english mi pagina
that is all  ♥

1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

wow... [09 Sep 2004|08:56am]
[ mood | giggly ]


My lj wedding by chynafox
you will marrymchead22
flower girlrightandexact
best manmissbrady
you will have your last fling withrevan11
secretly wants to marry you themselficecoldwater
date of the weddingFebruary 12, 2039
number of times you do it on your wedding night54
Quiz created with MemeGen!
1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

i need to update so bad...i will do it today and it will take me all frickin day [05 Aug 2004|10:08am]
[ mood | numb ]

i feel dead inside...

1 hidden dream| hide behind a smile

[16 Jul 2004|10:12pm]
Not that I update that much anyway, but just to let you guys know, I'm in Seattle until Wedneday so I probably won't be reading or commenting on any friend's stuff till I get back. I love y'all...have a great week!
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